Risk

learnt how to play risk ( ya know the boardgame) during the last few days of fieldcamp. hahah yes we instructors sleep late and have lots of time while the recruits doze off early hahah. i noticed how i like to wait things out and kinda go all out towards the end hahah. not very strategic in my opinion but the point being is that i also notice thats pretty much covers alot of things in the way i do things in my life. funny what you can see just from a boardgame or any other small thing that you do :) hahah

Listening

Just came back from ECI office. did an assisting agreement. never fails to amaze me no matter how many times i assist i always learn something. my task today was to transcript whatever kelvin said from vid for live your mark. really took alot of focus. the prob i ran into today was that i always miss out 1 word which totally screws up the sentence im suppose to type out. makes me wonder how many times b4 ive missed out a word of what some1 said and totally misunderstood the fellow. hahah prob countless of times. makes me conscious of my listening when some1 talks. looks like listening isnt as easy as what most ppl think eh? *chuckles*

Bittersweet symphony

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony,
this life
Try to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah,
No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the things meet yeah
You know I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, noI can't change my mold
no, no, no, no, no,I can't change
Can't change my body,no, no, no
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Have you ever been down?
Have you've ever been down?

Choices

a turning point for me today during my leadership training . i was torn from holding on to what i was attached to abt myself and moving on to something greater which i want for myself. it was like totally ripping myself out of my comfort zone. as i uttered the words to choose to use my weaknesses to push me the greater heights it felt like i was killing myself. worse part is i have to keep making that choice everyday. haha. it will make me stronger and closer to achieving what i want and getting closer to my dreams.

Returning home

field camp going on this week. while alot of ppl could find it uncomfortable to be stripped of practically everything. it was a beautiful experience for me. to walk down the dirt path on my own look around and just appreciate what i see. it was like a folding of all i went through in all the programs i took in ECI. priceless.

Expression

cant rem what day it was but i know it was a pretty tiring morning. had a quick lunch and kinda knocked out on the couch at my platoon office. i had a wonderful dream. in that dream i had a glimpse of love as a physical expression(its not abt having a wild time in bed if you are going there). ive gone through love as a verbal expression, as an emotional expression. how is this different since yeah i use physical means to express love verbally and emotionally? i dont really know how to explain it but in this case there was an absense of thoughts words and emotions. there was nothing to say to think or to feel. i was in the presence of love and the intense physical connection with the other person. it was real special. if there is anything that i can feel abt it is that it felt sacred. perharps one day i can explore this possibility with another person.

Bittersweet

its just a day after my sis did TCC. im overjoyed at being able to share this with a member of my family. i was on my way to blp training in the bus when i was just thinking of how to get the rest of my family to do this. at that point of time something hit me. i was reminded of how i started searching for this and the person who involuntarily sent me down this road because of his own inquiries and his own search. it broke my heart to know that i wont be able to present this to him. to tell him that i found what i was looking for and to let him have the same opportunity. he's passed away..... Dad i salute you. in honor of you giving me my life not once but twice i will carry your commitment as my own; giving our family a better life.

thinking

after the drill practise at spinelli the other fri and the recent leadership training on monday ive come to the realisation that my thinking stops me from doing the things i want to do and achieve the results that i want. it is only when i stop thinking and just do what it is that i have to do that i truly enjoy the experience of doing and the results that come out of it. funny how it becomes aparent to me how i achieve results back then and now being able to see the formula clearly im able to go out there and do what i want and get what i want. an example to state that clearer would be the example i gave during training as my best achievement. and that was the first time i got 3rd during the asian x games trials. i rem after all the hard work i put in towards the competition figuring out a run what really made the difference was throwing all thought out of the outcome my expectations the pressure i was under and just skated.

time worthwhile

somehow or other i always never get to watch the whole of black hawk down. anyway once again i only get to watch the last half of the show. the show had quite a significant impact on me. the scene that really hit me was the last part when one the guys was going back out and he was talking abt how ppl back at home will never understand why he does what he does despite what he has to go through. still rem the line he said. 'its all abt the person next to you' reminds me of what i want out of my time in camp with my recruits. seeing the feedback i get from them abt what they got out of our time together makes everything worhtwhile. im not wasting my time in the army

Coaching

its known to a couple of ppl what ive taken on of late. for those who dont know im been revolving myself around coaching. the usual comment or reaction is a raise of an eyebrow or 'what sport are you caoching?' ................ -.-' haha i dont blame them. but it can get pretty frustrating sometimes handling the misconcpetions revolving coaching. what is coaching then? ever wanted something more out of life? ever had a dream? not knowing how to make it a reality? or you know however there's always something stopping you and you dont know how to overcome it? perharps you cant see what is stopping you? thats where a coach comes in. a person who runs along side you to guide you in overcoming your obstacles and barriers that stop you from getting what you want out of your life. someone who stands for you being greater than who you are right now and who you think you can be. someone who would kick your ass to get you going because you said you wanted it whatever it is. better relationships, better career better income better prospects better performance a better life whatever. so what is it that you want that i can assist you in getting out of your life?

A matter of perception

yay another complain letter sent to our company. my OC is pretty ticked off with all the accusations coming in. Recruits whine send a letter way up there all the damn arrows starts coming down. hahah. i had a talk with my platoon abt what happened and a couple of them wanted to clear things up with me. i wasnt surprised when they were defending what they said.
sure they made valid points. however what they missed out was what happens in the background or rather why things are done which they didnt bother to ask abt or find out. so the conversation went pretty simple. i just asked them a couple of questions. so it turns out is that everything said was tuned towards their perception of things not necessarily what actually happened. they started to see that what they said is actually baised just that they dont realise it and they dont realise the consequences of they actions. im not abt to screw them up for that. at least they know now that things arent always what they seem. hey im not perfect i know there are times i have commited the same offense. haha maybe we should take a step back to review what we see from another angle. chances are we might be missing something. :)